Too weak too fake too sensitive too selfish too dumb too bad and so bad

Born this way

HAPPYBIRTHDAY PAPA!
I love you to the moon and back! I never give you anything on ur birthday. At the same time you always give everything to me.
Sorry , i knew that im not a good daughter for you..
I knew that you cant read this and will never read this

But I AM REALLY LOVE YOU!
Too shame to told you on another ways :(

Thanks papa for let me born on ur birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA ❤

Its too much

" dont expect too much "

Why its too hard :( seems like i dont have any chance to expect more...

I knew this is so wrong but its myfault

Icant hold it anymore.
And now, Im trying to smile :") cheerup bad chailien

Never expect, never assume, never demand.

Just because I'm not talking, doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood. Sometimes I just like to be quiet.

I BEG YOU

I know that we have grown up.
I know that one day, we will go through this periods, into man and woman hood. I know that what you feel as a teenager to the adult age. I have witnessed how it all changed, whether it's good or bad thing. 

But if you are aware, you are in the wrong way .. I beg you come back. Do not be too long to be there.  
I know this might not sound like much important, me and you've seen it. but I know, that in fact you were aware that it was wrong.

I will not ban you. therefore it is in vain. especially at your age now. but I believe until the time comes.
all of you will realize it.

I'm not surprised by what I saw. 
It's just that I never thought that you have to show it in front of me, right now.

I may not understand your problem. I may not be able to help you.
This might sound a bit stale.... But I'm ready to listen to you.

Just for you know, that I will never judge you or blame you. 
I just wanted you to know. that I was a weak person.Especially, i'm impressionable.
then, I beg you to help protect me..because I'm very, very easily influenced and I tried to keep this curiosity.

But I know, I can not hold this curious feeling about this too long. So, please help me...
Only this time, until we say goodbye...
At least stop doing it in front of me. I beg you. 

Monday Wishes ! 🌸

Manit world! 🌸
Happy Monday everybody !

So sleepy right now.. Damn

Suddenly, i want to make a wish list ! tadadada!!

I hope, I have good friends, loyal, sincere and appropriate to me.
I hope my friends will be my friends forever and be my bff !
Goodstuff is a second part for me. But all i want before i left indonesia is only having fun with all my friends !

I hope that on this month will be much better and brighter :") and June should be my best month ever !

For sure, I'm really wanted all my friends stay and love me much. So I can have a good memories with them :")

Even I knew that nobody will read this.. But i just want you to know that i'll be miss you much dude !

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Part of me

Almost 5am and im still awake.. Nothing to do..
Oh gosh my friend..
I love you more than words, you're my bestie. My best partner ever. We've spent more than 5years together.

But, i just want you to know something dude..
I know you're my best. And i am already knew that you have a lot of friends more than me.

Why so cruel to pretend like i am nobody ...

You know that i have sensitive personality :( i just want you to know my feelings when you act like im nobody..

It hurts.. Really.
You're my bestfriend , and i hope you know what i mean.

Thanks for being part of me anyway

It's hollow inside

 I often close my eyes and I can see you smile, You reach out for my hand and I'm woken from my dream
Although your heart is mine.It's hollow inside , I never had your love and I never will...

And every night,I lie awake thinking maybe you love me like I've always loved you. But how can you love me like I loved you when you can't even look me straight in my eyes.
 
I've never felt this way to be so in love to have someone there yet feel so alone.
Aren't you supposed to be the one to wipe my tears the on to say that you would never leave the waters calm and still my reflection is there,I see you holding me.But then you disappear all that is left of you is a memory. On that only, exists in my dreams
 
I don't know what hurts you but I can feel it too and it just hurts so much to know that I can't do a thing and deep down in my heart.Somehow I just know that no matter what I'll always love you. So why am I still here in the rain....

Empty

Hey babe! Im back :")

Im still on labils mood. I dont know what kind of feeling is this..
I just feel like something happens, but idk what is that..

Its like i have a hole in my heart. That hole gives me creepy weird unexpected feelings. I dont know why why why and why ...

So nervous without a reason :(
Poor me to be too senstive inside outside

Wishing all my feelings gone...

Hey simpsons!

Found old doll but newbie on my bed.
Just like another ordinary girls. I've some stories and memories about this bartz simpsons doll.

Anyway his named isn't bartz anymore, his named paylvet higa. ☺
Not truly meaning name but so meaning for me.

Welcome back my weirdo yellow and lovely doll ! You're gonna be my guardian to keep my dreams brighter and better 🌸