try to get get you out of my hand, i hate you but i love you.
if we could do it all again i will give you my all because i need your love
i want you come to me babe, i no need say goodbye.
but im still in love.
i'll do anything and go back to better time.

$&;%¥*[\|?! F

Seriously today i just wanna scream a lot. My day was great till somebody ...

"Woh youre major so easy, no assigment"

The hell, im not a person like you who liked to show everywhere that youre stressed out and the reality you arenot. stop act like that. So annoying

"Just stay right here, i want play game online. Just sit and see me "

What? Am I your maid or babysitter? For what iam sit down like your pet and seeing u are playing game.. 

And the most annoying conversation i had today is ..

X: im bored. Need refreshing

M: want to going down ? 

X: ohb yes yes

M: oke then lets go

X: but i wanna sleeping

M: k than ill back to my room

X: but i so confused

M: what? 

X: i m hungry

M: then go down la

X: but i want sleeping

M: okay laaa byebyee. Ill back to my room and refill some water.

X: alone ? Let me go with you

M: no need la, ill go with myself. just take a rest :)

X: im bored

M: ok lah just go with me laaa to refill water.

X: but i need to do my tutorial

M: WT(&//@%#{^+\!fhdiF BYE

Sushi time

 

I am just feeling so bored today, then i decided to make some sushi. 

So I'm just taking some of ingredients to make sushi asal asalan. 

Rice 

Nori

Vinegar

Pinch of salt

Cucumber

Tamago 

Crabstick 

Sausages *additional

1.Mix out one bowl of rice with 1spoon of vinegar and a pinch of salt. 

2. Put the layer of rice on top of nori

3. Then put cucumber, crabstick and tamago 

4. Then wrap it out by just rool it up. 

5. Then cut it into small pieces 

6. Eat with wasabi and soy sauce for more better taste.

Dont expect much , this is just a home made sushi :p 

GRATEFUL

My emotion always absurd right here. I always imagine if i moved to another country, i'll much better. You know my life already great before this. Ive builed up my life for 6years and its works. Ive passed out my bad dream. No regret inside it....

And now i'm entering a new life, new friends, new place and everything is different. 

It means i should re-build my life again, it was not easy as i tought before. Even my life being better and better every single day, but you know? Deep in my heart had a missing piece.. 

I should passed out the second times entering a new life. Gosh! I hope this one will be much better than my first one. 

I always pray to God to make my life better and better every day. And you know it was work! Im feeling blessed when i say thankyou and be grateful to the Lord. Sometimes if I am just thinking that my life is bad and sad. It is just made me more sad and confused. 

No need worried about anything. Just be grateful and stand beside GOD. He will always with you and hug you everytine you need Him. 

He knew everything. Your past, even your future... 

So I decided to be more grateful and give my heart to the Lord. Every breath that I take and every single moment I'm awake, . I am grateful to have you Lord :"""") 

MY WORD

Today, I have talking with my friend on the phone. Then, in the middle on our conversation we are talking the conflict on the past.

Today, I realize something. That one Reason of causes the conflict happen is Misunderstanding.

I am just thinking that We could not Expect others To be understandable to us. This one was really really sounds ego. 

I learned something today, that people should thinking about their words before they are talking about that. Because We are not know what people thinking about it; We may hurt others because our words.

- your words are your biggest enemy - 

Everything has changed. from now on, only yourself that will guide our next steps and dont expect others too much.

Everything has changed. from now on, only yourself that will guide our next steps and dont expect others too much.

Danish Sandwich !

Last night i cant sleep, and the clock is already touch the 5am. So I decided to made a breakfast for my sister :) 

Here what i've made 

 Danish Sandwich ! 

Ingredients:

Danish ham

White bread

Egg

Butter

Mayonaise 

Chilli Sauce

1. First panfried the danish ham with a little bit butter until the ham is darken and smells good.

2. Add 2eggs, pinch of salt and pepper to the bowl. Mix it well. 

3. Let the pan hotter and pour the egg on it. Fried the egg till cooked, 

4. Pour 1spoon of mayonaise , 1teaspoon if chillisauce to the bowl mix well. 

5. Spread the mixsauce on the bread

6. Put the ham, little bit mayo on it as the glue. Then the egg, add mayo , then put some vegetables, and cheese slice. ( i dont use any vegetables/ cheese yet) 

7. Cut it off in triangle shape 

8. Heat the pan and put the sandwich on it to make the bread more dried and crispy, and made the cheese melting 😋 

9. Ready to serve ! 

 

Healthyfood

Last week, 

I have an idea to cook healthyfood ! 

So i decided to bought some vege. 

Here it is! 

Sauteè vegetables, roasted garlic babypotato, grill honey sausages ! 

Here the repices, 

Roasted garlic babypotato

Ingredients :

Babypotato 

Oregano

Rosemary

Olive oil

Garlic

1. Wash babypotato until clean. And boil it up until its cooked.

2. Cut the garlic into small pieces.

3. Heat the pan high-heat and pour 1teaspoon of olive oil to the pan. Add garlic (dont let the garlic browny) 

4. Put the cooked babypotato, a pinch of oregano and rosemary. Mix it well

5. If the potato are sticky to the pan. Pour little bit water on it. 

6. After the colour of babypotato are crispy, browny and smells good, pick it up and ready to serve.

Grilled honey sausages

Ingredients:

Sausages

Honey 

Butter

1. Cook the sausages till it 1/2 cooked

2. Mix well 1teaspoon honey and 1spoon of hot water. 

3. Grill the sausages with little bit butter and the mix honey

4. And its done 

Sauteè vegetables 

Ingredients ;

Brocolli

Carrot 

Water

Pepper

Sesame oil

Sesame seeds

Soy sauce

Garlic 

1. Wash the brocolli and cut it into small pieces. Peel the skin of carrots ( i used australian carrots, its more soft and sweet) and cut it into rectangle shape. 

2. Heat the pan on the high-heat. After pan already hot. Add brocolli and carrots.

Close the lids , and let the vege cooked and watery.

3. Pour little bit water to make the vegetables softest.

4. Add soy sauce and pepper. Mix it well

5. Add a pinch of garlics to make a nice smell

6. Add 1teaspoon of sesame oil and sesame seeds to give more flavours on it.

7. Ready to serve !  

#dream 2

Well i dont remember the spesific of my dream.

Me and my 4-5friends are entering a bulding (looks like public library in uss) . We have our own tour in that building. Well after that we can't get out from that place. Fortunely, we met with a clever boy who stuck at that place too.

Well, to get out from that place.. Everypeople must find the codes and some clues to catch up the symbol that can make us out from that place. And every person should found that different symbol sequentially. 

Well we should running up an down to find some clues! Like a dog,cow,triangle symbols and others.

Ive got last turn to find the symbols. 

Two last symbols are the hardest. We are running and entering a room and met a girl with white long hair, whitedress, tall and preety. Like a yunani person, well we've found that symbol.  It was WINGS symbol on the wall. The girl (myfriend) push the wings carving and all symbols we ve had found are flying and shining and made a curve and turning so fast. After that light had been reduced. I see it was a sword. 

Well the yunani girl told us the sword is old. One time ago it was Commander sword in that time. After that I tought i was my turn. Last symbols. Then a boy we have met on that place are cruel. 

He is laughing loud and suddenly give a creepy smile . Then he catch up all of us except me , and tie our feet to the ceiling. He told us that he is the commander son. He burn all of my friends and that yunani girl with feet tied on the door ceiling. 

Gosh im shocked, running and tried to hide! He is looking for me to find another symbol to escape from that place. Then i wokeuo from my dream... 

What a dream goshy..

#dream 1

Going back to highschool, and having fun again with my friends. But my school are different enough from my realityschool. Over here, my school has it own private swimming pool.

And i tought in my dream, it was social class turn to use the swimmingpool. Well its really fun. We are swimming and laughing with music. Its a little bit crowded pool, but still a big swim pool. 

After had swimming class, i tought im in chinesse language class. Then idk what happens. But my friends told me that yesterday im not coming to the class. So, that mandarin teacher -that idk who is she- mad at me. 

She piss off the paper on my desk ad throw it to the grown. Then i tought it wasnt mine. It was ekoes ! Gosh.. Trouble

Than ive a seminaryclass, it is not important at all. Well ive talking much with velve :) hahaha

That class looks scary with it old interior. Then 3-4 man in front of us , sitting on the center if class and wear a black shirt with collar like a spg or monting used. And black pants. i forgot what they're talkin about. 

So many things happen in my dream. 

Like my history teacher is dancing after winning the fight with another teacher to get a exampermission . Sounds weird and unimportant..

But it was only just a dream. 

Then after woke up. I just miss my school life as jhs and shs student. 

Not shine bright like a diamond

Sometimes life isn't unfair...

What you give isn't always what you get. I've tried give my best to them. Then i get dissapointed. 

Its make me thinking that 'im not precious enough?' 

I knew that i'm too sensitive.. But looking their respond about what i've gave to them... 

I've no words to say :( It is make me hurts. Don't you know that i made that with all my heart. I've tried ma best for all of you. Why dont you give me a little bit of urs respect? 

I dont expect much, just want to look ur apreciate for me...

Why I should ask to you for saying thanks? Is it good and dont make me hurt? Uh 

Fyi, I get dissapointed with all of you. Couldn't you let me feel that I'm so meaning for you guys ? 

I've spend half of my money to give you that one. Sorry im not rich enough, cause i've not any job yet.

Feeling guilty thinking about this.

Yeaaaaaa I've tried to be a sweet person(bestie) to all of you. Well I knew that i am expect too much to you dudes...

Cause, from what I had see and feel that you you you you you you didn't care about me . 

Well from all of this.. 

I'm still can't and never hate all of you. 

Even youren't care. I will always love you dudes :") 

i will forget you

Don't cry. Don't sit down. It could be a little difficult.
Saying its nothing, you could forget about it for a while.
She said, I don't care for a weak guy. No matter how handsome he is.
I like a strong person who can protect his girl.

baby it’s now or never this time is right
Everything begans from this moment
So that I won't get tired no matter how far I have to walk around,
Dear you, give me strenght. Feel so right.

One more time, Even if I fall again, one more time
You can do what you do. Shout out whenever you are tired.
I don't care for a weak guy. No matter how handsome he is.
I like a strong person who can protect his girl.

everyone get up. its now..
everything begins again today

baby it’s now or never this time is right
Nomatter how high of a place, I will climb up
I might be late but I won't give up.

I will...forget you...

I will forget you. Starting today,
I don't know you. I have never seen you.
We never even walked pass eachother.
I'm okay. I forgot everything. I'm happy with my busy life.
I've met a great person too.

Love is always like this. It fades away after some time.
Can't even remember it,

When love goes away, another love comes again. It definitely will.
Even if it hurts now, it will hear a little later.
It will forget. I will too.

It's not difficult. I will forget everything after today.
I'm just getting used to my changed life.

Love is always like this. It fades away after some time.
Can't even remember it.

I will erase everything.
I definitely will.

When love goes away, another love comes again. It definitely will.
Even if tears fall now, I will smile a little later.
I will forget you (now). Just like a wound heals...
I will. I will. I will forget you.

stairs to the cloud

I look at the dark sky far away..
where the stars live anyway
I see the lonely night
 
The cloud stairways rising far
Laugh and rejoice to see and hear
The day when I am alone, I will wait

I can't fly with these small wings
Indeed, when my song reaches the sky above
Then we shall truely meet

But do not cry if your heart is sad
Some day I will also seek home again

Are you watching me on this lonely night?
If i climb that stairway of clouds up ahead, greet me with a smile
who is all alone?

Even if a sigh goes by even if my heart grieves
Still I won't cry
I know I will find shelter again someday

One two three as I count white sheep
Unknowingly tears begin to fall

insomnia = lookbook

5:10 AM
I got insomnia, again

well, yesterday I'm editing some photos for my clothing line lookbook.
choosing some accessories, mix and match clothes, makeup and hair do the models, photoshoot , pickin up the photos, editing , finishing. I do all of that alone :")
well the photos arent great at all, but not too bad ! proud of myself because i can do All of it alone . And thanks to my lovely preety cousin , Gabriella .
She's very talented to be a model. Young , Preety , Cheerful and Talented.

Here it is !
SHOUFFLE SHUFFLE LOOKBOOK

JULY Rocks !

piggy nose ring

dorothy perkins replica by ShouffleShuffle

makeup session

visit ShouffleShuffle official facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/shouffleshuffle1

Gwiyomi :*

FREE POSE

BOREDOM

nothing to do on this rainy summer ...
so I decided to open my closet and try some clothes. and here it is.
I got stupid photoshoot with myself ...

Tops by Gaudi Clothing

blue pants

Spikey Head by Shouffleshuffle clothing line

spikey gold and black Bracelet, Tribals Pyramid ring by Shouffleshuffle collection

 

 

 

Unicorn earing by shouffleshuffle

Too weak too fake too sensitive too selfish too dumb too bad and so bad

Born this way

HAPPYBIRTHDAY PAPA!
I love you to the moon and back! I never give you anything on ur birthday. At the same time you always give everything to me.
Sorry , i knew that im not a good daughter for you..
I knew that you cant read this and will never read this

But I AM REALLY LOVE YOU!
Too shame to told you on another ways :(

Thanks papa for let me born on ur birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA ❤

Its too much

" dont expect too much "

Why its too hard :( seems like i dont have any chance to expect more...

I knew this is so wrong but its myfault

Icant hold it anymore.
And now, Im trying to smile :") cheerup bad chailien

Never expect, never assume, never demand.